the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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