he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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