What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
