Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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