Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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