Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
