The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize