If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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