apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize