I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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