had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
