Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
