He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Houston, we have a blender
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
