hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
