i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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