Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
