I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
