physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
