Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Glen hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.

Fav 10 3596 948
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.

Fav 32 4763 1386
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(647): View more from Ontario

I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask

Fav 10 1836 3200
share tweet
(310): View more from California

Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

(310): View more from California

Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

Fav 6 4118 1487
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

Fav 8 2275 1337
share tweet
(952): View more from Minnesota

On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

Fav 6 3049 1255
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

Fav 13 1861 1014
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge

Fav 3 34 65
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(229): View more from Georgia

Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.

Fav 0 22 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT