honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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