Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
