bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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