everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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