were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
