i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
