i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
