we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
