Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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