The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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