She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
