very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
