I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
