whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
