I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
