I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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