You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
