I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
