May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
