You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
