Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize