her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
