I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
