i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
