In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
