did you get engaged???
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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