he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
