Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize