our cab driver is having phone sex.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
