just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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