I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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