I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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