I wanna passion pit in your ass
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
