I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
