will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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