I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Enjoy the penises
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
