yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
