I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
