Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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