Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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