No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
